Rating: PG
Summary: Anakin POV right after his turn
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to George; I make no money from this.

Just because I left you doesn't mean that I love you any less.

It just means I love another more.

Perhaps love is not the right word. It doesn’t begin to describe these feelings. Obsession,
maybe. Addiction. A rush unlike anything I’ve ever known. Better than drink, better than
spice, even better than sex.

The Dark Side is my mistress. And a powerful and demanding one she is.

It started innocently enough. Some flirting here, a light touch there, and I was drawn in before
I knew it. Lured by a siren song of power beyond any I had ever imagined. She was so quick,
so easy. And always there when I needed her.

But soon, those quick encounters were not enough. The more I touched the Dark Side, the
more I longed for her cold embrace. She whispered to me at all hours, beckoning me to join
her, to immerse myself fully. And I gave in to that call. To feel all that power resonating
through my body is the closest thing to pure ecstasy I’ve ever experienced. With it, I can
do anything. Be anything.

And to think that this began with a simple desire: to make myself more worthy of you. I saw
all those opportunities, all those things you gave up to be with me. I didn’t want you to
think you had made a mistake. I thought that being more powerful would make me more
deserving of you. I thought that you would love me more. I was wrong. In seeking to be more
deserving, I have become someone to be despised. And I’ve destroyed everything.

And even now, you’re all I think about. I know I don’t deserve you, but I love you. So much
that it hurts. Every day I spend apart from you causes another part of me to wither and
die. More than anything, I just want to be with you. To see your smile, hear you laugh,
breathe in your perfume. To feel alive again.

But the Dark Side is a jealous mistress. I had to choose. And in the end, her seductive
melody was too much to resist. Being with you allowed the Light in, and I could not fully
embrace her beautiful, terrible potential. So I had to leave. But my soul remains with you,
and I stand here an empty shell of a man.

But even now, there is untapped power that I cannot reach, and I think it is your fault. No
matter how vile my emotions, how depraved my acts, part of you remains with me. A small
flicker of light deep within me that I cannot extinguish. And for this, my mistress holds
herself back from me, depriving me of absolute mastery over her.

And when I lie awake at night, that flicker of light burns brighter as I recall the warmth
of your arms, the softness of your body, and the depth of your love. A love that never
demanded anything except to be returned. And in seeking more, I lost everything I had.
Including myself.

So now, when I lie awake missing you, I seek solace in the embrace of my Other Woman. But
hers is a cold, cold comfort.

*********

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