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Title: Aftershocks
Author: Tam Chronin
Genre: Adventure/AU
Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: none of this is mine.

Summary: A Jedi padawan encounters a Sith Lord and gets more than she bargained for.

Note:  these are selections from the Rent-A-Jedi Gala and Rent-A-Jedi Thanksgiving round robins. The whole story is archived on the SithChicks fanfic page.  These are only the portions that concern Vader. 

I looked down at my empty glass, wondering for a moment if I should get some more punch. Then I saw someone walk past that I knew I just had to talk to, and decided to put down the glass.

"Excuse me," I said to the tall dark figure. "I couldn't be sure since we never met, but aren't you Darth Vader?"

"Yes. What do you want?" He was very abrupt, but that didn't matter to me.

My voice was soft and menacing as I felt something strange come over me. "I want to kick your ass for hurting Liz's feelings, you bastard."

He stood stock still and I could feel him probe with the Force. "You are a Jedi Padawan, and yet--you were drinking the punch, weren't you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" My voice was rising along with my temper. Suddenly an image sprung to mind of Liz's face as she handed me the punch. Realizing that Vader had seen the vision too I clamped down harder on my shields.

"So, the mixed-up Sith apprentice set you up...interesting."

"Don't call her that." My protest was a little weaker this time as I realized that she did have something to do with it...I knew it couldn't be just hormonal.

"What, you thought she was your friend?"

"Well, no, we just met, so acquaintance would be more appropriate." Still, I was beating myself up inside for trusting her. Then I caught a snatch of true calm and realized that she was just acting according to her nature. She was a Sith apprentice after all--she probably thought she was doing me a favor. Sure, some favor. The anger caught me again.

"Good, experience that anger. Let it flow through you."

I tried to reach that calm again, but it was beyond me. "I don't think I have a choice right now."

"Come with me," he invited. "I'll help you handle your anger and frustration."

I raised a questioning eyebrow, but he turned abruptly and walked away. Feeling contrary I almost didn't follow, but curiosity began to shove the anger aside. I couldn't help myself, there was just something about the whole situation...

We reached the stairs and another feeling entered the mix--fear. I felt my skin cool, but there was something thrilling and seductive about that fear. I quickened my pace behind him.

His black cloak billowed out behind him as he ascended the stairs. There was a grace to this, an elegance conveyed in the fabric alone. I was entranced as I followed, unable to break the spell. The rhythmic sound of his mechanical breathing had an almost hypnotic effect on me, one I didn't understand but it compelled me anyway.

I followed closely, not wanting to lose him. He came to a door and opened it, gesturing for me to follow. His bedroom was sparse, but that didn't bother me, I expected to be paying attention to him alone for as long as I was here.

"How did you plan on changing my anger for something else?" I swallowed down my hope, easy to do with the fear that was threatening to overpower me.

"You know exactly what I have in mind. Just because some things are denied to me doesn't mean I don't have other needs."

"What do you mean?"

"I was burned horribly years ago...I assumed you knew. My lungs are beyond repair, I was scarred over most of my body, but I assure you that everything necessary to what you have in mind is intact."

"Oh." I had barely formed the suspicion before he answered me. "So no kissing, nothing else involving your mouth, and I shouldn't look at your face which won't be a problem because you need to keep your mask on--do I have it right?" My smile was a slight seductive thing as I came closer. "I think I can handle that."

"Close, but there are things you can do with the Force that Yoda would never teach you." He held me close against him. "Close your eyes."

I closed my eyes and could feel lips brush against mine. I opened my eyes and gasped at how real it had felt, and how erotic. "Oh gods," I gasped.

"I take it I remembered how to do it right." I could feel the low rumble of his voice down to my toes. His hand lifted to my face and caressed my cheek. His finger traced my lips then lifted my face gently under my chin. I let my eyes slip closed again and the kiss was deep and passionate. I could feel him in my mind, testing exactly what I liked and feeling the sensation for himself through me. I moaned softly, my knees threatening to give way.

He pulled me away slightly. My eyes snapped open and he gestured toward the bed. I couldn't catch my breath, I just walked toward the bed as if I floated on a cloud. He stopped me just beside the bed and gave me another one of those magical Force kisses as he reached around to undo my dress.

As I closed my eyes this time I could see him as he must have been in life. It wasn't an image he was trying to project, but it was the way he still thought of himself when he let go of the pain. The sheer lust that built within us both was enough to drive everything else away. I opened my eyes and looked into the mask's eyes still haunted by the pure blue of his past self.

::Don't look at me like that:: he said through the Force. He felt more anger than I had ever known about whatever it was that had happened to him. He resented me reminding him what he really looked like. I took a step back, afraid again, but all that was behind me was the bed. My dress slipped off as I fell back on the bed.

My anger took me then. How dare he make me so afraid when we had been about to have so much fun? ::That doesn't matter. Dammit, if you don't follow through I will hurt you worse than that.:: I made it obvious I meant to hurt him worse than what had left him half dead in the first place.

The sound of Darth Vader's laughter was the most ominous sound I had ever heard. He reached forward and my bra was suddenly on the floor with my gown. His gloved hand cupped my right breast, gently arousing my sensitive nipple. I moaned gently, tipping my head back and reveling in the sensation. It was unsettling having my emotions played with so adeptly. I didn't have a chance to keep my balance and he knew it.

"Yes, give yourself to your emotions. Don't think, just feel."

Oh gods, it felt so good. He sat down beside me and ran the fingertips of his other hand over my eyes. Behind my eyelids I saw him as he preferred to be again. In the vision he reached forward and suckled my breast while his other hand continued to stimulate my other breast. I laid back and felt the pleasure course through me. He paused long enough to remove my panties and then he slipped a finger against my wet slit. With a deep rumble of approval he slipped a finger inside me and gently rubbed my clit with his thumb.

I moaned as I saw him bend toward my pussy and ever so gently lick. I knew that it was a trick of the Force, I knew it wasn't real, but I couldn't feel a difference. It felt as if my insides were on fire as he increased the pace, sucking on my clit and then burying his tongue deep inside of me. I screamed as I came, clutching the sheets in my tight fists. I clenched my eyes tightly closed to keep him from stopping.

I felt the bed shift under me and realized I was being placed in a better position. I gasped at the feel of my wrists being restrained above my head. I could hear the rustle of fabric and the springs of the bed as he settled over me. He smelled like leather and lust with another, undefinable scent under the surface. His hands depressed the bed on either side of me and I could feel the tip of his member begin to press against me to enter.

I couldn't believe how gentle he was. I wanted to be ravaged and he was torturing me by treating me like I was delicate. With a stab of rage I probed him to find out why and I saw an image of *her*. His wife, pregnant with twins, and he had never known. It blew my mind that he was doing this to me to make up for what he hadn't been for her. Then I understood--the punch that had been filling my gentle soul with darkness had affected him through me and reminded him of the good within him.

::This isn't me:: I cried with the part of my soul that could, and I heard Vader echo my cry. We moved our bodies together in that most ancient of all rhythms, building speed slowly. I struggled to free my hands as I lost control, but I couldn't get free and it helped drive me over the edge that much faster. I climaxed hard, clenching my vaginal muscles tightly around him and wrapping my legs around his waist. He slowed for only a moment while I caught my breath and then he was pounding within me again. I came a second time, harder than the last, but still he wasn't done. I nearly cried at my helplessness as I tugged against whatever was holding my hands, but still to no avail. I felt something within me release finally and I lost track of everything except the sensation of Vader fucking me. Finally I felt his control begin to release and in that last moment as he came within me I gazed at him in the real world, loving both images of him.

That sent me over the edge one last time and I finally freed my hands as he let go. I clutched him to me, shaking--almost sobbing from the overload of emotion. I didn't know what I was feeling suddenly as I felt his emotions bleed into mine. ::I can't believe how much you remind me of *her*:: he thought with a strange hollow pain that I hadn't expected. I suddenly wanted to cry. I had no control for the first time in my life and I didn't know what to do except lie there and hold him.

Suddenly I was repulsed. This was a Sith, someone who had turned against his Jedi training. How could I...?

I felt his anger rise in response, and then we both slammed up our shields. "I see the spell has worn off." His voice was matter of fact, but I could feel a trace of amusement behind his words.

I wiped my hand across my face, curling up on the bed and trying in vain to cover certain parts of myself. The truth was I had really enjoyed myself, much more than the effect of the punch could excuse. In horror I bounded off the bed and grabbed my clothes. Darth Vader gently helped me and I almost melted back into his arms. I caught myself and hastily pulled away. "Don't. Just--don't help me. I--" With trembling fingers I finished dressing myself. I tried hard not to cry as I remembered what it had felt like to be kissed in that unique way. With a sharp intake of breath I ran out, wondering how I could put it behind me. Especially when I knew that he would never be that way again.

There you have it, tasty--er, I mean tasteful--Vader smut. I kinda had to end it that way, right? So why am I so bummed? *sigh*

Tam Chronin
Jedi Padawan

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

"Master Yoda, where does suffering lead to?"

"To your room you will go, Padawan. Discover for yourself where it leads you will."

"Yes, Master Yoda. Of course, Master Yoda. Whatever you say, Master Yoda."

*Sigh*

In all the worlds I know are out there
The words reflect a hollow meaning
And there is no one to hear my prayer
And no answers to be gleaning...

I hid my poetry from everyone, I usually wrote it when I was trying to vent a negative emotion and I felt uncomfortable sharing that side of myself. This morning the words demanded to be written, I needed to come to terms with what happened last night and this was the only way I could think of. I sat and let the words flow.

These feelings are mine that I can't share
And deep within my soul is keening
Even for me it's too much to bear
But there is no one I can turn to for leaning.

I was totally alone for this one, if I admitted what happened to anyone I knew I would never be a Jedi Knight. If anyone found out I would be ruined. I had had sex with Darth Vader of all people! And would again, I knew...if I ever had the chance. Horribly scarred he had said--but I had been trained to see beyond what was on the outside by one who exemplified that rule. I couldn't deny the evil that shrouded his soul, but all I could think of was his pain and how I wanted to take it away. Even the darkness that was so much a part of him fed my craving to explore the darkness within me in a seductive siren's call.

What do I see when I see you?
How could I see you this way?
I should be repulsed by the image true,
But something within begs to stay.

I crumpled up the poem, throwing it away as I realized where I was going with it. This was no good. I knew that the promises made by the Dark Side were empty, I knew it was only going to be good for me until I gave in. I had been taught all these lessons, but right now I wasn't strong enough. I *wanted* to give in, to explore more than just what I had been taught in this little building all my life. I just couldn't stand the thought of disappointing everyone I had ever loved in my life.

Was that all that was holding me back? No, I decided finally. There was much more and it all had to do with fear. Sure, fear leads to the Dark Side, but what if what you feared *was* the Dark Side? I no longer had that blanket of confidence that I was incorruptible. I had never had an opportunity to be tested like this and I didn't know if it would finally strengthen my resolve or if it would break me. It was dangerous to explore this further, but it was also dangerous to try to ignore it in the hopes it would go away on its own.

I turned back to my bed, knowing I would have most of the day to myself. I thought about crying but I just couldn't let go that far any more today. I thought about listening to some music, but I couldn't decide on anything I was in the mood for. I thought about crying some more and finally decided that I needed to or I would never get past the feeling I should.

That decided I let my emotions flood over me. Gently at first I felt the tears build as I remembered what I had done. They began to spill over as I thought about what would happen if anyone found out. Finally I let it all out as I thought of the impossibility of Vader wanting anything more to do with me. That hurt more than anything since Voron had died and I found out I was pregnant with his child. No, this hurt worse in a way because Voron was one with the Force and therefore not truly gone. At times I could still feel his presence and how he had cared for me. I had no such comfort with this situation, I was being devoured by the hopelessness of it all.

I was finally too exhausted to do anything but lay there, wallowing in my misery. No one bothered to check up on me because everyone walked on eggshells around me with losing my mate and being emotionally unbalanced from the pregnancy. I just stared up at the ceiling and clutched my pillow to my chest in a death grip. My mind was a complete blank, any thoughts I had just drifted away because I didn't have the strength to concentrate on them.

Gradually something changed. A vague sense of awakening imposed itself on my mind along with a strange darkness. It took me a while to realize I was feeling the presence of another person searching for me. I wondered who it could be, but it quickly became obvious to me that it had to be Vader. ::What do you want?:: I sent the thought with weary resignation.

His response shocked me out of my stupor. ::you::

I almost screamed at the myriad emotions which suddenly sprang up. Before I could decide which one to give precedence I felt an invisible hand brush my hair out of my face and caress my cheek. ::Why are you doing this to me?:: I tried to make my mental voice demanding, but it seemed the best I could do was a pitiful pleading. I wanted to give in so bad it hurt!

::Tam, there is so much you could learn from me if you'd only give yourself over to the Dark Side.:: He used the Force to caress my body, to stimulate places I hadn't known could be so erotic. My head swam with the sensation as I struggled with the decision of whether or not to resist. I felt my eyes slip slowly closed and the images supplemented the sensations I felt. I reached out to touch him, using the Force as he did, and felt his response. He kissed me, holding me close as if he'd never let me go--

There was a soft tap at my door. I gasped as the connection was broken, then stood up to answer my door. Master Yoda stood there with concern on his face. "Gone all day you have been. Troubled have your emotions been. Worried am I."

"Yes Master Yoda. It's more of the usual brought on by everything that happened last night. Some days it's just harder to deal with than others."

"Told you I did. Go out you should not yet. Worse are you today than you have been."

"No, I just think there a lot of things I still have to deal with that I haven't given myself a chance to think about yet. I think I should go for a walk...that might help me get my thoughts together. It all just hit me hard today, that's all."

I walked away quickly, not daring to think of how I had skirted the truth until I was safely away from the Temple. Then I sighed in relief as the crowds surrounded me, swallowing me up in a cloak of anonymity. Without thought I just walked.

As I walked I noticed different people as they passed. Each one had their own problems and sorrows. Each one had their own regrets hanging over them. Each one had strange lives that I could never understand because of the way I had been raised. The Jedi had stolen any chance to live a "normal" life like any one of these nameless faces that passed me. My free will had been subverted in the name of their idea of keeping me "pure". Where had that left me? Alone and pregnant in a society that frowned on what I had done. Sure, the child would be another hope for the Jedi, but I was--

What was I? None of the Jedi would look at me because I carried someone else's child, even if he was dead. My training had been stopped because of fatigue at first, but even when I had started to feel better I was sort of pushed aside so that I wouldn't endanger the child. I couldn't believe how backward some of the male healers were! If I say I can do something I'm not just acting brave! Of course, they just said that there was a chance of fluctuations in the Force that could throw me off in more dangerous exercises...and there were cases of that happening.

I turned the corner and found myself at my favorite place to meditate away from the Temple. I didn't think twice about it, it was a short climb to the platform where I had enjoyed watching people pass from a vantage that no one ever thought to look at. Pulling myself up happily I looked up--

The sounds of civilization had hidden the sound of his mechanized breathing. He held a hand out to help me up and after only a moment of hesitation I took it. "Come here often," I quipped.

"I discovered this place when I was a Padawan and needed to be alone with my thoughts."

Chills went up and down my spine. I recalled the feeling that had drawn me here the first time and wondered about it. "I never meant to steal your spot..."

He just gazed at me for a few moments and I wished I could for once see his true face just so I could see a reaction from him. I barely resisted the urge to squirm under the scrutiny of his mask's placid facade. He turned after an eternity and gestured out over the landscape. "It is the perfect place to be alone in a world so overpopulated. It takes a rare person to find a place like this, most people take such open yet hidden places for granted."

I felt myself blush at the compliment, so I turned away quickly in hopes that he wouldn't notice. My mind drifted to thoughts of things that had driven me here over the years and I could feel a sense of understanding coming from Vader. He reached out to touch my shoulder and I leaned back slightly, upheld my more than his physical strength.

"I understand what you are going through, Tam. I can help you in ways that the Jedi won't."

I knew he was right. I also knew that there was a price to pay if I could believe what I had been taught. "Do you ever regret the path you have taken?" The question came out before I could think about it.

"It was the path I needed to take, I was never cut out to be a Jedi."

"But do you regret it?" I don't know what possessed me to persist on this point.

I could feel his eyes upon my back as his hand clutched me just a bit tighter. "I have paid prices that I wish I didn't have to over the years, but they were prices I paid for things I could not do without. I can't say I regret them, for I would have to regret also the many gifts I have been given and the power I now have."

I thought about that. Prices to be paid. There were also prices for actions the Jedi took, could I live with that. "I don't know..."

"You don't have to make your decision today...I will wait while you think about it."

"Are you really that confident?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

He turned me around to face him, holding me close with one arm while the fingertips of his other hand brushed over my eyelids. As I closed my eyes I saw his dream image and felt his kiss upon me. "You want this, and you want me. I want you to have all that I can give you. You will be mine. You only have to realize with your entire being what your heart knows, and what your passion has led you to. That is why I am confident."

I felt the passion he spoke of build within me at his embrace. Part of me longed to pull away and put things in perspective, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. His internal image grinned at me and he gave me a deep kiss that stole my breath away and inflamed my libido to new heights. Then in an instant he pulled away and was gone before I could bring myself to open my eyes.

::Tomorrow at dinner time:: I heard his retreating thought and then I was alone to think of what I would do.

I stood at the window to my room, wondering what he meant.  Tomorrow at dinner time was just too cryptic.  It was almost dinner time and--

There was a knock at my door.  As I opened it a friend of mine was there with an amazed expression on her face.  "A small aircar is here for you...the driver said only that you have a date with a secret admirer.  Do you know who it is?"  She was bubbling over with excitement.

"I have an idea...I think it might be someone I met at a party the other night.  You know, the one all the guys were at..."

"How did you get in?  I heard the only women invited are clients."

"I crashed it."  I grinned at the memory.

"Oh!  You naughty girl.  So, do you think you could get back there and maybe get me in...?"

I just laughed.  "Get your own dates.  Trust me, it would be cheaper that way.  Or, if you want to go that way, you could always just walk in.  The owner is a really nice lady, I think you'd like her."  She looked like she was going to say more, but I cut her off.  "Go stall the driver while I rush to get ready.  I don't want to be late."

She smiled and ran off to do what I asked.  I hopped in the sonic shower real quick and put on my nicest robes...not much else fit me lately and the dress from the other night still needed washing.  I wasn't sure my robes were appropriate to the occasion, but I didn't have much of a choice.  I tied my hair up in a plain braid and wrapped it around my head in a pretty but simple fashion.  I was practiced with it, so it didn't take very long.  I practically ran out of my room, eager to leave.

The ride was uneventful, but when we arrived I was awed.  I had heard of the castle Vader had built recently, but I had never expected to see it.  It was large and impressive, a show of his power on a planet where space was at a premium.  As I walked in and saw how spacious the foyer alone was I felt humbled--and envious.

"Welcome, Tam.  Your dinner awaits," Vader greeted me, walking with me to show me the way to the elaborate dining room.  The food was the best I had ever had, even when I was protecting Senator Rees's family.  Everything was beautiful, simply perfect.  There were even fresh flowers around the room, flowers that were hard to find on a planet covered with the city that choked any accidental natural growth.

"Is all this for me?"

"Yes, I wanted to show you what you mean to me."

"What I mean to you?"  I was suddenly confused.  "I couldn't mean that much...we just met...we hardly know each other."  Could he really care about me the way I already cared about him?

"I have my reasons..."  I don't know how I knew, but I could tell he was amused at how flustered I was.

I shook my head, knowing I didn't want to go on with this line of conversation.  I pushed away from the table, looking disinterestedly at my dessert. Vader immediately stood and offered me his hand.  Without hesitation I took it, thrilling at the feel.  With his other hand he brushed my face, compelling me to look in to his eyes.

I fell into the black depths of the darkness his mask showed.  Expressionless, unchanging, and yet somehow alive.  Yes, it almost seemed that the mask had a life of its own.  ::Who are you really?  Who lives behind that mask?::

::If you saw me without this mask you would be disgusted.::  His mental tone was both wistful and amused.

::That horror is only skin deep.::

"No.  It's much deeper than that," he said as he turned away.  A hint of the physical and spiritual pain seeped through his shields.

"Your own master did this to you?  How could--"

He held up his hand for me to stop and I suddenly felt insensitive for bringing up such a painful topic.  Silence fell over us for a time, then without turning he said, "Follow me."

He led the way to the center of the castle where a beautiful garden was carefully maintained.  The walls mostly shielded it from the light of the surrounding city, but the starlight shone like I had never seen it here on Coruscant.  A fine mist was falling on the plants, and the little light that did make it here seemed to gather on the beads of moisture that collected on the leaves.  The scent was moist and sweet from the many flowers that grew here.  I had never seen so many plants on Coruscant in my entire life, I was struck dumb by awe of it all.

Vader finally spoke up behind me.  "Before I was taken here when I was young I had never seen so many plants either.  It wasn't until I went to Naboo the first time that I saw the wonder of it all.  That is why I had this garden made."

I had the feeling that there was more to it than that, but I didn't want to pry.  "I'm impressed."  I breathed.

He showed me to a small area covered with small green plants--I searched my memory for what it was called--oh yeah, grass.  He gallantly removed his cloak and invited me to sit down on it.  The grass offered a strange cushion that felt sensual amidst all the rest of the greenery.  Vader knelt before me, prompting me to lean back.  He reached forward and cupped one of my breasts, then began to slide my robe and tunics off my shoulders.

I had longed for this moment since the party, dreamed of nothing else.  A low moan came from deep within me as I surrendered to the sensation.  My eyes slid closed as his hand finally settled on my bare flesh.

His blue eyes were burning into mine.  ::Were your eyes really that blue?::

::Oh yes.::  He chuckled confidently.  ::I have no need to exaggerate the image I'm showing you.::

I moaned again as I felt his mouth upon my breast, teasing my nipple first with his tongue, then with gentle nips of his teeth.  I knew it wasn't real, I knew it was a trick of the Force, but...

I felt him deftly remove my belt and then slip my tunics completely off.  He paused for a moment and I opened my eyes.  He was looking at my lightsaber and I could feel his curiosity.  This time I chuckled. 

"I got a little creative in some elements of the design."

"Indeed." 

He seemed impressed and then set it aside.  I then smiled and slipped out of the rest of my clothes.  I couldn't believe how eager I was, but I knew I wanted him to possess me and I wasn't going to play around about it.  And this time I didn't have a Sith potion to blame...just a Sith--and my own run-away feelings.

His hand drifted to the slight swell of my pregnant belly, fascination and melancholy mixing with lust as he did.  With impatience he removed his gloves and felt me with his hands.

"No, only one hand is real," he admitted absently as he searched through the Force for the baby's presence.  I gasped at the intimate touch, feeling his mind touch the baby's in a gentle caress.  "Your daughter has many trials ahead of her..."

How could he be looking at me, naked, and only think of the baby within me?  It would have been touching, but I wanted him touching me, not her.  Then I remembered the emotion I had seen from him that first time and suddenly understood his fascination.  "I'll bet no one has seen this side of you in a long time."

That snapped him out of it.  ::Not since my wife left me.::  Now he was lost in the past, still not where I wanted his mind stuck.  I frowned for a moment, trying to think of a way to make both of us feel better.

I reached for his belt in a sudden burst of daring.  Quickly I had his pants undone and pulled out his large organ.  With a glance up I made sure I had his complete attention and then I wrapped my hand around the base of his member and began licking the tip.  They were quick licks at first, then I wrapped my lips around the head and began moving up and down as I felt the pleasure coming from him in waves.

I don't know how he found the concentration to do it, but he used the Force to caress my pussy with well honed skill.  I was absorbed by the sensation as he concentrated on my clit, gently at first, then rough and urgent as we both grew closer to orgasm.  I quickened my pace on him, somehow finding it within myself to relax my throat enough to take him all the way in.  I felt an echo of how it felt for him and I could feel myself begin to tip over the edge.  We both went faster and faster until, linked, we came at the same time.  His hot seed pumped into my mouth, salty and acidic, but not unpleasantly so.  I swallowed, sucking to try to get every drop, and I felt him shudder at the motion.

We were silent for a moment as we recovered from the experience.  We laid down beside each other on his cape and I closed my eyes in thought.

::You will be my apprentice.::  His mental image was gazing at me with studied seriousness.  ::I must have you.::

I held my breath, feeling the fear of the implications.  I was already moving down that path, but I still couldn't face it full on.  He understood.  I almost wished he hadn't so I could have fought against him and maybe broken free.  I shook my head and fought tears.

I felt his hands on me, comforting me and pulling me against him.  He let down my hair with gentle motions and ran his fingers through.  I could tell how he loved the feel of it, long and silky, as he suddenly grabbed a handful and held me in place as imaginary lips crushed my real ones.  I almost cried out in longing for his real mouth to be against mine, but I knew that couldn't be.  The frustration of the situation fed both of us to a new wave of lust and he pulled me on top of him.

While my eyes were closed he had taken off his boots and pants, exposing the flesh and prosthetics underneath.  I looked for only a moment and then I closed my eyes and positioned myself on his manhood.  I was so wet he just slid right in, filling me totally.  I gasped at the sensation; I hadn't prepared myself for being so suddenly and easily filled.  I clenched my vaginal muscles and began to rock against him.  With a little experimentation I found the perfect spot, the perfect angle, and felt myself reach almost the point of orgasm.  Vader reached a hand up to my pubis and pushed his thumb between us.  He hit my clit and rubbed hard, bringing me easily over the edge.  I screamed from the pleasure, heard my voice echo around the garden as a testament to my pleasure.

His hands were then on my hips, guiding me and prompting me to keep going.  I came again, quickly, and it was stronger this time...then again and again, harder and faster, rocking my world as I had never felt before.  He finally sat up, clutching me to him, and I swear we both just exploded from the pleasure. I passed out against him, tucked in to the crook of his arm, and promptly forgot about the rest of the universe.

I woke up to feel the warm sunlight caressing my skin.  I couldn't understand why at first, then I remembered and sat up with a start.  I found myself alone in Darth Vader's garden, surrounded by beauty but filled with dread. I quickly found my clothes and rushed inside.  I could smell food as I neared the dining room, but I hurried past while trying not to think about it.

The halls were longer this morning than they had been last night.  I began to think about how good the food smelled, how hungry I really was, and how I really shouldn't deprive the child I carried.  I slowed my steps gradually, then stopped.  I wouldn't make any difference in suspicions if I ran out now or if I stayed long enough to satisfy my hunger.  I hesitated a moment longer and then turned around and began walking back.  The smell of sweet breads and spiced meats prompted me to walk quickly.

I turned the corner to see small samples of exotic foods placed before the seat I had been in last night. There were small cubes of sweet fruit, a bitter yet sweet fruit juice that cut the sweetness down just enough, and other items of delectable food from all over the Republic.  I ate eagerly, finishing with a hot, dark brown beverage that was rich and sweet and better than anything I had ever had before.  I felt Vader's presence approach from behind me before I heard his footfalls or respirator.

"Your Master was looking for you."

"What?!?"

"He called here a moment ago."

"Master Yoda called here?  Looking for me?  What did you say?"

"I cut him off and told him never to call here under any circumstances."

I closed my eyes and wondered how Yoda would have known where I was.  Oh yeah, the party.  A lot of people, including council members, must have seen me with Vader as we walked to his room.  I knew for a fact that Yoda himself had been passed out cold in a back room at the time, but I knew I was a fool of the worst sort if I thought that this wouldn't get back to him if I gave anyone an excuse to remember what had happened. 

"I'm doomed."

"You have no idea how annoying I find that phrase...."

"What?"

"Nothing."  He noted that I was done eating and gestured for me to follow him.  The only thing I could pick up from his mind before he shut me out was an image of a protocol droid announcing, "We're doomed" and a small workbench in a hovel where the same droid had been, regretfully, assembled.  I was confused by the image so I just ignored it as I followed him down a new hall.

He opened a door to a bedroom filled with flowers of all descriptions.  The bed was large and looked soft and inviting.  It was a tall bed, the perfect height for--

"I have to go back."  I turned away and willed my legs to walk, not run, down the hall.

His hand on my shoulder pulled me back.  "Tam, be my apprentice and all that will be yours.  You need not return to the Academy where people will be tracking you day and night.  No one here but me would dare tell you what to do ever again.  No one would sit in judgment of your every move.  You will have the power to make them leave you alone."

"I'm not ready for this," I shouted at him.

"You were ready last night."

I wanted to scream at him for that, but all I did was pull away and run.  I don't remember how, but I found myself in an aircar headed back to the Temple with the worst headache of my life.  Everyone could sense it and I was thankfully left alone for a while.  Safely locked in my room I found the words to another poem spring into my turbulent mind.

Flicking flame that draws me,
The light and heat that dance,
Candle-lit the radiant room,
That draws me to a trance.

Burning flame that mocks me,
The shadows on the wall
Tower high over my form
With seductive silent call.

Blinding flame that shuns me
It offers no respite
Absorbing itself within it
So all I see is night.

I didn't want to think about what was ahead of me as I reached the open door. I was dreading the confrontation I was about to have with Master Yoda, dreading the discussion of what a proper pregnant padawan is supposed to do.  Or more importantly, what I wasn't supposed to do.

"Hurry you will," he called from the room.  I quickened my pace to face him and the door closed behind me.  Without preamble he looked at me and stated, "Change him you cannot."

"What?"

"Too far has he gone down the Dark Path.  Reach him you can not without risking yourself and your child."

"Master Yoda, I'm not sure if that's what I'm trying to do."

"Know this I do. Unsure was I if you did.  Dangerous this is, more dangerous than you know."

"Master, I'm afraid it's worse than that.  I think--"

"That falling in love you are?  Careful you must be.  Too soon to tell this is.  Influenced by a hormonal imbalance you are, in control you are not."

"I know all this, but it doesn't change anything.  I feel so vulnerable, and he makes me feel so safe."

"Brought together you should never have been.  Vader is from another time than yours--warn you I would have, but I could not know!"

I was taken aback by his sudden bursts of correct grammar.  It was an indication of how strongly he felt about my situation and how he was blaming himself for it.  "Master, I can not change how I feel."

"Give yourself time you must.  Remember I care you should.  Think before you act you should.  Wait and meditate you will."

"It seems like meditating is all I do these days, I don't know how much good that will do Master."

"These doubts you have, dangerous they can be.  Believe in yourself you must Tam, for believe in you I do."  He shook his head and spread his hands, unsure of what more to say.  His eyes landed on an envelope and he handed it to me.  "Arrived for you this did from Rent-A-Jedi."

I opened it carefully, wondering what it could be.

"You are cordially invited to a Rent-a-Jedi Thanksgiving. Dress is nice casual to semi-formal and all guests are asked to please bring a food dish to contribute to the festivities. And please, no alcohol is to be brought into the complex.

Sincerely,

Ziggy, president of Rent-a-Jedi, Inc."

"Thanksgiving?  Do you know anything about this Master?"

"Tell you I will when find out I do.  Invited am I, go with you I shall. Bring juice and water for us alone we will, to avoid anything that will tempt us.  Yes?"

"But Ziggy said no alcohol-" I broke off, remembering what else had been introduced to the punch.  "Yes Master Yoda," I conceeded with a smile.

Silence came over us, and with it came an air of seriousness.  I began thinking of who else would be at this Thanksgiving thing.  How would I face Vader with Master Yoda hovering over me like an over-protective father?

"Find your balance you must.  Like this I do not, but faith in you I have. Stand aside I will while this decision you face.  One thing I ask, seek him out you must not until this Thanksgiving party.  Do not underestimate the Dark Side or Vader's fate you will suffer," he warned finally and left while I sat contemplating the invitation in my hands.

I had a bad feeling about this. I had paid slight attention to Master Yoda as he explained to me what he had heard about what this Thanksgiving thing was. I was more apprehensive of other things that would come up by going to another party at Rent-A-Jedi with Master Yoda around. The problem was that he knew the situation between Darth Vader and me. He knew, he understood, and he had already invited a friend of mine to come along with us to keep an eye on me.

Tasva Roysherian was bubbling over with excitement. "This is going to be so much fun! How did you convince your master to let me go too?"

::By falling in love,:: I answered mentally while I slipped my shirt over my head.

"With Yoda?!?! That's just-"

"No!!!! Ick, that's just sick and wrong Tasva. He's like my father! How could you even think like that?"

"Well, I've heard about some Padawan/Master couples,and since you strike me as being straight and your master is male I just assumed?"

"Get your mind out of that gutter. Trust me, where we're going there's some Jedi eye candy that would turn-"

My door chimed and I knew it was time for us to get going. Tasva and I were wearing matching velvet shirts and slacks, hers in white and mine in black, that we had bought when we heard we were both going. We looked each other over one last time and then opened the door for Master Yoda and Master Yaddle who were waiting for us.

Great, I thought to myself, we're going to arrive with the entire Jedi Council and Vader won't give me a second glance. And no alcohol this time either, so nothing will serve as enough of a diversion to get me away either.

I put on a smile though as I felt Tasva's excitement flow through her. How could I rain on her parade? The least I could do was show her around and let her meet some of the more interesting employees and customers. It would be a chance to talk to people even if the one I really wanted to see would be off limits.

We pulled up to the front door and I noticed how much nicer it looked in daylight. Tasva and I stood at the back of the group of Jedi, the only Padawans in the group. Ziggy opened the door and greeted everyone on the council with the over bright smile of someone already stressed to the breaking point. ::What's the matter?::

She smiled at me and shook her head. ::Just a friendly utensil fight or two,:: she replied with an image of Darth Maul chasing someone with a large knife.

::You took away their 'sabers, and they went for the next best thing?::

::You got that right.::

"I'd like to introduce you to my friend Tasva, we've known each other for years and she was really jealous when I told her I had come here for your last party."

Tasva smiled and shook Ziggy's hand enthusiastically. "When Master Yoda said I should come and that Tam could show me around and introduce me to people I was so happy! I can't wait to see what you've done with this place! I mean-"

I saw Ziggy try to hold back a wince and sympathized.

"Speaking of introductions," I interrupted, "I see another friend I'd like to say hello to."

I dragged Tasva off to Ziggy's almost tangible relief.

I saw Liz just as she headed out of the room with one of the employees. I couldn't remember his name, or even if I had ever met him before, but I wanted to say a few things to her.

"Liz!?"

She turned around with a puzzled look on her face, then smiled as she recognized me.

"Tam, how are things going?" Beneath the surface I could hear her true thoughts, ::Where is Vader?::

"Things were going just fine until Master Yoda ordered me home and grounded me." I rolled my eyes. "It was for my own good of course, I needed time to think about what I was doing and all that stuff, and what do you mean by where's Vader? I thought he would be here.?"

Tasva's eyes grew large as she heard me invoke one of our greatest enemies names so casually.

"Um, Tam, you never told me who you had fallen in-"

I glared at her to get her to shut up. "By the way Liz, this is Tasva, my chaperone for this party. Tasva, this is Liz, head of the Rent-A-Sith division of the company."

"Um, pleased to meet you?."

Tasva was a lot more reserved now as she looked at the man towering at Liz's side. Liz struggled to hide a laugh at my friend's shocked stare.

"I haven?t seen Vader for a couple of days," I told Liz softly. "I thought he would go back to work as usual without me."

"I checked his room earlier today and it was unlived in for a while." She shrugged.

Just then I heard the front door open and the unmistakable presence of Darth Vader entered the room. I went weak in the knees as I turned around to face him.

Vader stood there in his dark glory, towering over everyone else. It took all my willpower not to run up to him and seek shelter from this mess in his strong arms.

Okay...it wasn't exactly willpower that stopped me. It was Tasva's hand clutching my shoulder so hard I knew I'd bruise within the hour.

::Don't even think about it Tam.:: Tasva's mental voice was almost angry, for some reason that made me want to smile.

"Tasva, I--"

"Come on, Tam, the council went this way. I think we should keep up with them." She sounded pleasant enough, but I could feel the turmoil within her. Without another word she guided me away to a room where many voices could be heard. It sounded like cheering or fighting, I couldn't tell which, and when we saw them I found many people staring at some sort of primitive, one-way, flat screen communication device where two groups of men in strange uniforms fought over a strange oval-like device. I didn't pay attention long enough to tell what the point was, but Tasva didn't even catch that much at first.

::Those are..those are--::

::Sith?::

::Yah! And...and...and--::

::And Jedi.::

::Sitting together in the same room!::

I thought her brain would explode from the monumental overload. ::Why yes, so they are. And look, two seats just opened up for us on that couch. Hurry if you want to sit down!::

I grabbed her this time, guiding her to the middle seat while I angled for the edge. I figured she would have more fun sitting next to Master Windu than I would...or at least she wouldn't be fighting hard not to laugh. I still hadn't erased the memory of him pole dancing at the party.

::I thought we were friends.::

Oh gods, what was it this time? ::We are!::

::Then why didn't you tell me about who it was you had fallen in love with?::

::You were too busy trying to set me up with my master, that's why!::

::I didn't mean it that way...and you could have told me before.::

::I didn't want to talk about it.:: I knew I sounded sullen, but it was true. ::Besides, Master Yoda had me in meditation nearly the entire time and I didn't want to think about it the few times we were having fun together.::

She looked at me compassionately and put an arm around me for support. ::I'm sorry. You've been through so much lately and this can't be any easier than everything else you've had to deal with.:: We both glanced up at whatever it was on the screen (I realized that it must be some sort of alien game) and then she gave me one of her famous impish grins. ::So, what was it like?::

My jaw dropped and my eyes grew about ten sizes larger. I started laughing because the question had been so unexpected. Then she started laughing, and I lost control. Everyone else in the room began glaring at us and that set us off again for a moment, then I realized I had to leave. Now. ::If you really want to know I'll fill you in later when we can get in some real girl talk...but right now I'm too pregnant to keep this up.::

She looked puzzled, and then understanding dawned on her face as I dashed out the room. I headed straight to a bathroom, glad I had paid some attention the last time I was here. As I stepped out I realized that I had won a temporary measure of freedom--I could feel that Tasva was distracted and a bit flustered so I decided to try to steal a few moments with Vader.

If I could find him.

Who would believe there were so many doors? I wandered aimlessly for a while, unable to get a feel for where Vader was. Was he hiding something from me? Did he really have to? I sighed and wondered for a minute. Did it really matter to me if he did have something to hide? Or did I expect that?

I had never really had a suspicious nature before, but things were moving rapidly away from the person I was to the stranger I was becoming. Well, I could stand in the hall and wax philosophical about it, or I could get on with my life. I pulled my shoulders back and stood tall as I began making my way back to where everyone else was.

Or, I tried to. I don't know how I did it, but I was lost. I didn't hear anyone around me, I couldn't remember how I had wandered this far into parts unknown. This couldn't have happened just a few months ago, before I had gotten pregnant. I never got lost! With steadily growing frusteration I wandered around, eliminating dead ends and finaly deducing my way out.

Suddenly I heard the distant sound of a lightsaber battle. My blood ran cold at the thought of my own weapon locked safely in my room in the Temple. I didn't hesitate too long though, but it was over before I got there. When I heard the sound of two 'sabers switching off I reduced my speed to a walk, no longer prompted by training to resolve whatever conflict was going on. Then I stopped dead in my tracks and realized what I had done.

I started hitting my head on the nearest wall, and the mantra that sprang to my lips formed itself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid...." I was suddenly glad I couldn't run very fast. I was very glad I hadn't arrived in time. I had just put my unborn child in peril with my hasty action, it was only luck that had saved us both. I had no idea who would dare engage in a 'saber duel here and now, but I knew that pregnant and weaponless I couldn't have stood a chance.

The walls were solid, they didn't thump too bad. I figured that as long as the only thing getting hurt at all was my forehead it wasn't nearly as bad as what could have happened. I wasn't hitting that hard even, just enough to tenderize the skin....

I lost track of time, finally realizing that this wasn't getting me anywhere either. I took a few deep breaths, replaying the sound of a door opening down the hall and footsteps leading the other way. How long ago had that been? I had no way of knowing, but I knew what direction they had gone in. That must be the way to other people, I thought in triumph.

In short order I found the room everyone else was watching that strange game in and saw Master Windu and Tasva totally wrapped up in each other. Interesting. Then I saw another couple *really* wrapped up in each other in the corner. I think my jaw dropped. I carefully filed *that* thought away for meditation some other time. Maybe. Wow. I shook my head, uncertain what to think of it and looking for something to distract me. I heard something instead. This time I know my jaw dropped, just as Liz's eyes popped open. The look on her face was priceless as she realized that everyone in the room was staring at her. Well, almost everyone. I ducked back where no one could see me and stifled a laugh at everyone's reactions.

When I looked back Liz had a mixed expression on her face, a bit of embarrasment and a lot of bravado. I looked around the reas of the room again and tried to make up my mind. Did I really want to go in there? Was it something to do with that small, cute, yelow creature in there, or was it all a coincidence? And what was that yellow thing?

"Liz!" I had to know...or at least I had to talk to someone who might help me find Vader! And despite the bravado I thought she wanted an excuse not to be under my master's scrutiny anymore. I know I would.

"What's up? Thank you for getting me out of there...I don't like giving the Jedi such a good reason to stare at me!" (Well what do you know, I guessed right!) "So, what can I do for you? I think Vader is looking for you..."

"He is?" Everything else left my mind so suddenly it scared me. "I've been looking for him, but he was blocking me for some reason."

"I could be wrong, he didn't say anything."

It came to me in a flash. "My birthday! Today is my birthday and I almost forgot that he knew...." Then I shook my head. That was too easy an answer. Wasn't it?

"It's possible. I'm sure you'll find each other if that's the case." She seemed to think for a minute, then came to a decision. "I thought you were under lock and key, I'm surprised you're out here instead of--" She gestured in the room toward Tasva and Yoda.

"Are you kidding?" I smirked. "Tasva has things of her own to think about, and Master Yoda is wrapped up in that game or whatever it is."

"Dinner will be ready soon. What will you do then?"

From the look on her face I knew I wouldn't have any time alone with Vader before the food was served. Dammit! My shoulders slumped as hopelessness hit me yet again.

Liz seemed to come to a decision and smiled generously. "Hold out your hand," she commanded. She gave me two sets of earplugs and I gave her a puzzled look in return. "One set for you, one set for Vader. Happy birthday!" My puzzled look didn't go away. "I'll let you know when it's time for them, but I guarantee that no one will disturb the two of you for a while if you want some privacy."

A thousand questions went through my head suddenly, but I realized that I didn't really want to know the answers. "Anything I can do to help you out?"

"No, just keep Vader occupied. You won't find that too hard will you?"

"Not at all," I replied, matching her grin. I walked off to try to find Vader again for at least a few minutes of talking before everything happened.

We were quick and we were silent. 

In an instant we hurried up the stairs and to his bedroom, slipping the door closed behind us.  I could feel his dark presence surrounding me, enfolding me in a warm embrace even before his arms surrounded me with their physical touch.  For a long moment I rested in those arms, not wanting to break the silence between us.  

"We have much to talk about." 

His voice was a deep rumble next to my ear, I wanted to melt into him as I felt my body resonate with his voice.  Reluctantly I pulled back and nodded my agreement.  

"If I leave with you I can never return to the Jedi Temple." 

I pulled out of his arms and sat on the bed.  

"Yet you have already made your decision."  

"Yes.  I will go with you."  I looked up at him, past the mask and into his eyes.  "But I will not turn to the Dark Side."  

"You sound so sure," he murmurred softly as he knealt beside me.  "I thought that once.  Do you think yourself that much stronger than me?"  

"No," I smiled now, despite knowing that the path I was walking was unstable.  "I *am* different though.  I don't think I have it in me to be turned."  

"You say that as if you believe it, but part of your mind is begging to be corrupted.  I can assure you now that you do have the potential within you."  

"What makes you say that?"  I was genuinely puzzled, I had moral issues with myself every time I killed spidergnats that liked to infest my room once a year.  

"Your passion.  The Jedi have tried to supress it all these years, but you have more passion in your delicate finger than your master has felt his entire life." 

He caressed the finger in question, sending shivers up and down my spine. 

"You are better than they are.  They have decided to take the path of denial, you don't have to do that."  

"Denial?"  

"Denial of freedom, denial of emotion that could give them greater power, denial of half of their very natures.  Denial of knowledge of the Dark Side-that is why the Dark Side is so hard for them to see.  When you deny the part you are afraid of you deny much more at the same time."

"My Master is not afraid!"  

"Oh, but he is.  He just hides it better.  When I went before him as a small child to gain admittance into the Jedi order he was afraid of what I would become.  So afraid that the seed of fear within him spread to even my own Master in time and everyone treated me like I should be feared.  I became what they expected of me.  All because your master saw the concern of a boy for his mother and feared that attatchment which he couldn't understand."  

I could feel how right he was.  Even the Jedi weren't immune to such flaws, and were more likely to deny them because of the code.  I had tasted the Dark Side at the gala because of the potion, and now I remembered how liberating that was.  No one got hurt or killed, but I felt free to do what *I* wanted for a change.  

"But the Dark Side is evil." 

I couldn't let this go, I was losing here and all he had done was tell me truth.  

"Is it?  Or is it just a tool like the Light Side?"  

"I--"   I broke off, feeling a brush against my mind as Tasva tried to see how I was doing. 

::You sure do go to the bathroom a lot these days.::  

::I'm pregnant, what do you expect.::  

::I expect you to be in the bathroom when your friend tells me you headed that way.::  

::Has anyone else missed me?:: 

Damn, what had happened to Liz's distraction?  

::No one did until I said something.  Sorry.  No one will expect you for a little while though.::  

::I'm kinda busy right now.  I don't know if I'm coming back at all.  Are you sure about going on the trip?::  

::You must go, I sense greater darkness for you and your baby unless you leave with Vader.::

::I won't pretend to understand why, but I trust you.::  

::Oh, I have to concentrate on this...one of the Sith hads decided to entertain us with a cute little singing pink thing with a beautiful voice.  It's entrancing...::  

I felt her drift off to sleep and could sense that most of the others in the room down there were falling asleep also.  This must have been what Liz meant, and it gave us more time.  I didn't think about it too much though because I needed to keep that part from Vader and he was wondering what was going on.  

"Tasva was wondering where I was, she said she'll make excuses for me if anyone missed me.  We have time."  

It was close enough to the truth.  I reflected only momentarily on how easy it had become to lie lately before I shoved all thought violently aside and moved closer to Vader.  I felt liberated by the thought that no one would miss me and come peeking into my thoughts for quite some time.  I held a finger up and caressed the skin on my lover's face through the Force, taking the initiative for the first time.  

"I will think about what you said later, but now I need this.  I need you." 

I closed my eyes, setting up the mental landscape where we could face each other.  I kissed him, absorbing myself in each sensation as it came.  I didn't want room to think of anything else as we met in that first stage of physical love.   I opened my eyes. 

"No more Force tricks, I want to experience you as you are this time.  I want reality."  

He didn't argue, but I felt reluctance coming from him in waves.  I ignored that and looked at the man before me.  His presence, his self, was the same with my eyes opened or closed.  There were just a few machine parts I had to work around, where he had protected them and hidden them with the Force each time before.  I would just have to pay attention to what I was doing.

I stripped quickly, throwing my clothes aside and giving thanks that crushed velvet was supposed to be wrinkled.  Vader was much slower, reluctantly pulling off his cape and then working to slowly free himself of his boots.  With a grin I set to work helping him.  After hearing about his injuries I was surprised to find that his feet looked normal.  

"They are prosthetic."  

"Oh.  Of course.  They can still feel though, can't they?"  

"Yes, they can.  And so can my hands." 

He took his gloves off, showing a perfect right hand and a scarred left hand.  He reached up and touched my face and I couldn't tell the difference between the real and robotic hands.  I grabbed his wrists and kissed his fingertips one at a time, licking one, sucking on another as I went.  I smiled and felt thrilled every time he shuddered with the sensation.  I kissed each of his palms finally, then pulled his left sleeve up and sucked lightly on his real wrist.  He moaned, unused to such sensation after being alone in his suit for so long.  I could feel his passion building.  

I looked him in the eye, holding his attention as I undid his belt and began to tug his pants down.  I wished I could see his brilliant blue eyes under the mask, but knew that it had to stay on in this environment. 

I nudged him over to lie down on the bed so I could remove his pants, and his reluctance lost in the heat of our combined lust.   I could tell easily where his flesh ended and the replacements began, but I was far more interested in other aspects of his anatomy.  I finished the task quickly, wanting to taste more of his flesh and kiss more of his skin.  I ran my hands up the inside of his legs, pushing them apart slightly so I could kneel between them.  I licked and kissed and tasted the flesh of his thighs teasing slightly on my way up to what was eagerly awaiting between.  As I reached his large member I licked my way up, up to the tip, reveling in his motion beneath me. 

I felt powerful and alive, having this feared Sith Lord tremble at my touch and clutch the sheets to maintain some control.  Slowly I opened my mouth around the head of his penis, working my way up and down, taking more in each time.  I finally was able to take the whole of him in, concentrating hard on relaxing the back of my throat so I wouldn't gag.  I increased my rhythm, licking as I worked my way up and down, feeling his pleasure build almost to release.   I stopped and he growled in frusteration.  It didn't matter, I was in charge right now and I wanted more than just his pleasure. 

I sat up and worked my legs to the outside of his hips, settling myself into place.  I started positioning his member outside my opening, then I pushed gently, realizing that I would have to go slowly because it had been a while.   He had other ideas.  His hands grasped my hips and he held me in place as he thrust his whole length into me.  I cried out from the mixed pain and pleasure, realizing that even the pain was good.  We stayed connected like that, just feeling each other together, for a few moments before I started rocking against him. 

I was in control again, using him to pleasure myself as I rocked just so to hit the sweet spot inside of me.  He reached his right hand up and rubbed his thumb against my clit, increasing my pleasure.  I rocked faster, building to a climax and feeling his left hand clutch my ass as he grew closer to a climax of his own.  I gazed down upon him and felt love flow between us, love even stronger than what Voron and I had felt when he had given my the seed for his child....  

The emotional overload and the physical release hit at the same time, throwing us both over the edge as our voices signaled our loss of control.  I gasped for air, stunned at the intensity and unable to think as I reluctantly pulled myself off and laid down beside him.  My stomach muscles were tight in a small contraction and I reached out through the Force just to make sure everything was normal inside me.  Sure enough, my daughter was feeling a bit crowded but healthy and everything would be fine.  I felt Vader's concern also and he rested a hand over my baby to make sure for himself.  

I laid back, content to feel so safe with the man I loved.  The man who loved me.   I stopped short at that thought.  He loved me--I had felt it radiate from him.  For some reason a chill fear clutched at my heart like an ill omen.  I didn't understand why it scared me, but something was deadly wrong with the situation and I knew that events were about to take a new turn.  

"We need to leave soon if we're going to get out of here.  I still have a few things I want to take with me.  I need to get dressed and cleaned up real quick..."

I babbled my way out of bed, into my clothes, and out the door so I could go down the hall to the bathroom.  After the bedroom door closed I could feel him contemplating the love I had discovered within him. 

I could hear his private thought, ::Sidious will not be pleased,:: before his thoughts became tightly locked up again.

I didn't have much to pack, as a Padawan I had limited room to keep things and so had never felt the need to hang on to physical mementos.  I didn't leave anything behind though, this vacation with Darth Vader could only be seen as a resignation to the council.  Master Yoda would never understand and never forgive me.  I almost hesitated as I took one last look around my room, but I knew that it was too late to change my mind.  I wanted to leave this place and be with my lover more than I wanted to be a Jedi.  

With the party going on at Ziggy's there weren't many people hanging around the temple, so I didn't have to pause for good-byes. 

Before I knew it I was at the spaceport gazing at the luxury ship that would take me away forever from my past.  I was ready for it though, the hidebound Jedi Council was not what I wanted to deal with for the rest of my life.  

I almost ran the rest of the way to the ship on the platform, giddy with the feeling of freedom.  My ticket was taken and I was shown to the suite Vader and I would share.  No expense was spared, as the Emperor's right-hand-man Vader was the biggest VIP on the ship.  I couldn't help but be impressed with the accommodations after the life I had become accustomed to as a Padawan.  

The door opened behind me as I took in the atmosphere of the room.  I knew it was him, his dark presence was unmistakable.  It flowed over and around me like twilight on a summer evening.  He was powerful, strong, and would protect me and teach me.  I wanted to taste of that power again, his command of the Force alone was enough to make me weak since so few people were stronger than me.  But that wasn't all I wanted.  

There was silence as we looked at each other, words not needed.  We were running away together, abandoning commitments and ignoring responsibilities.  It was deliciously naughty to me, the girl who had been the model of perfection around the temple until only a few months ago. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, smiling.  

"You won't be needing those plain robes ever again, Tam." 

The brown Jedi robe I had grown so attached to slipped off my shoulders with a gesture from Lord Vader.  The ripple in the Force from that simple move quickened my pulse.  I had only one thought on my mind, and I sent an image of what I desired to him. 

"First we should settle in, I must make sure everything is set up in my chamber correctly before we take off.  The consequences if I do not...."  

"I understand, my Lord."  I smiled up at him, bowing slightly and giving him a suggestive glance. 

I felt him smile within my mind, and an invisible hand caressed my ass as I turned away to my room.  As soon as the door closed behind me I leaned against the wall and virtually melted, the anticipation distracting me fully.

I didn't leave the cabin very often once we left.  On occasion I ate in the dining hall, but I always did so alone if I chose to leave.  The beauty and luxury weren't enough to drag me away from Lord Vader, my reason for leaving behind all I had known. 

One day though I was away, walking through the halls as I took time to think things through once again.    How far down the Dark Path did I really want to follow my lover?  Did I have it in me to turn completely?  Was that what Vader wanted of me?  Every time I left his presence I was besieged by doubt and confusion.  Was it enough that I had left the Jedi and their way of life behind, or did he want more from me?  He didn't push me at all now that he had me to himself and the confusion gripped me with icy fingers.   The further we were from Coruscant the further he seemed from me emotionally.  He was distracted by something, and the Force was so strong with him that I had no chance of finding out what it was. 

I found myself before our suite's doors and sighed, trying to put it all behind me.   The atmosphere in the room was heavy with darkness as I walked in. 

Vader was on his knees before the holotransmitter and I heard him say, "Yes, my Master." 

The image of a man in black robes faded from view.  The darkness lifted but a little bit and I stepped inside with trepidation.  This was the Dark Lord I had met the first time, not the conflicted creature who treated me like a glass figurine and gazed upon my pregnant belly with almost religious awe.  This was a man who would kill with the slightest provocation.  This was a man who had crushed his friends and enemies alike to gain power.  This was a man who would let nothing stand in his way.  Even if that something was someone he loved.  

A shiver went down my spine.  I felt both repulsed and drawn to him on some fundamental level I didn't quite understand.  I wanted to run from the room to save myself and my unborn daughter from a danger only hinted at.  

I didn't run.  

Instead, I found myself taking a cautious step forward, probing a bit with my mind at the same time. 

::My Lord...?::  

Vader slowly stood, turning to face me.  He towered over me, overpowering by his physical presence as well as his psychic one.  I could feel his eyes upon me, taking my measure in his new frame of mind.  I trembled a little inside, a little fear feeding another, stronger emotion.  Lust.  I could almost feel his smile behind the mask as he felt the emotions flow from me.  My knees quivered as I felt his emotions swell in response.  

"Come here," his deep voice commanded. 

When I stood before him he put a black gloved hand on my shoulder.  At his signal I went to my knees and gazed up at him from this new vantage.  As his hands reached to undo his belt a smile slid comfortably across my lips.  I reached to help him remove the impediments between his penis and my mouth.  As soon as his member was free from his tight leather pants I grasped it in my hands, rubbing up and down his length. 

All the thoughts that had driven me from him were gone as I reached around and grabbed his ass with both hands and brought myself closer to him.   His penis pulsed with his rapid heartbeat.  My tongue snaked out to taste his flesh in a teasing graze.  Small licks, up and down his long shaft, then I suddenly opened my mouth wide and wrapped my lips around his head.  I sucked gently as I stroked his glans with the tip of my tongue.  A little bit at a time I rocked back and forth, bringing his member a little more into my mouth at a time. 

I heard the leather of his gloves as his hands reached around my head and he wrapped his fingers in my hair.  He began to guide me, forcing more into my mouth, faster, longer strokes.  The saltiness of his precome filled my mouth and the smooth texture of his flesh across my tongue thrilled me as nothing in my mouth ever had before.  I began to lose myself in the sensation, welcoming the pressure of his hands guiding me so that I knew best how to please him.  

He suddenly pulled me back, trembling as his hands tugged painfully at my hair. 

"Not yet," he growled, regaining control.  Without letting go he raised his hands, pulling me to my feet with a cry. 

One hand released me as he brushed my eyes closed with gentle fingers.  I could immediately see his piercing blue eyes burning within my mind and he bent to ravage my mouth with a searing kiss.  His hands tore at my clothes impatiently, ripping through cloth that wouldn't easily be removed.  He then lifted me as easily as a child and took me into his room where his meditation chamber had been set up.  

The chamber closed around us and I could feel the concentrated oxygen fill the small room.  He sat me down upon his chair as he removed his armor.  It was the first time I saw his true body and part of me was horrified to see the scars that covered him, but another part of me was thrilled that finally there would be no barriers separating our flesh.  I wanted to weep at the sight of his face and how the beauty had been destroyed there, but before I could think he buried it between my thighs and began stroking my lips with his tongue.   I moaned, melting at the touch of his hot mouth on my wet pussy.  His tongue opened me up, slipping between my lips and sliding up and across my clit.  Fire shot up and down my spine, making me shiver and gasp at the contact.  His hands were caressing me all over as his tongue danced across my most sensitive flesh. 

This was real, no trick of the Force, and the reality was more powerful than I could have believed.  He licked my clit harder, then sucked on it and licked some more until the fire spread to my entire body and I came hard, quivering and screaming as my back arched against my will.  I tried not to gasp in the oxygen saturated room, but it was almost too much to ask.  I went limp across the chair for a moment, moaning my satisfaction.   He lifted me easily, standing and turning us around, then he sat and draped me across my lap. 

"It's hard to take, isn't it?" he surprised me by asking out loud.  His voice sounded weak and raspy without his mask.  

I knew that he meant his appearance. 

"A little, yes, but it doesn't matter.  I--"  love you, I almost said.  

"Don't say it."  He cut me off and placed a finger across my lips.  ::Just show me.::  he sent, closing his mouth over mine in a searing kiss. 

His mouth then moved down, biting my neck in a way that made me quiver inside.  One hand caressed my right breast, teasing my nipple erect, and his other hand reached around and cupped my ass.   I wrapped my legs around him carefully, trying not to let my growing belly get in the way.  I settled myself down upon his large member, closing my eyes as I reveled in the feel of filling my deepest recesses.  He filled me perfectly and I moved very slowly up and down his length to feel every inch of him sliding in and out of me. 

It was perfection, we were connected in the most fundamental sense, and nothing was between us for the first time.  I captured his mouth in another kiss, feeling my insides turn to mush.  I rocked against him, moving at just the right angle and hitting my sweet spot each time.  I couldn't hold in my moans of pleasure and gasps of delight.   He moved the hand that had been at my breast and slid it down between us.  His thumb pressed against my clit with almost bruising force as I rocked harder.  It almost drove me out of my skin, the sensation pain and pleasure at the harsh pressure.  The feeling built as I built up speed and my cries grew louder and echoed on the close walls.  I came hard, losing the rhythm for a moment as my muscles clenched hard.  I began rocking harder again as soon as I regained control, and my second orgasm came faster and lasted longer. 

We held each other desperately as I found the rhythm one last time and we built upon the feeling that passed between us.  Harder and faster we moved together until he exploded within me and my own orgasm flowed through me like the roar of the ocean.   He sat back hard and I collapsed against his chest.  It felt so right to have our skin pressed together. 

I gasped, trying to regain my equilibrium, but I grew more and more lightheaded.  Vader sat me back and looked deep in my eyes.  He placed a hand against my belly and I could feel him commune with my unborn daughter.  For some reason I thought he was telling her goodbye, but I quickly shoved that thought aside.  

"You should leave now before you pass out.  You're hyperventilating, and that isn't good for your baby."  

I smiled. 

"You're right, I just wish we could spend more time like this."  

"Go.  You won't miss anything, I need my rest." 

He smiled, and my heart skipped a beat at the first smile of his that I could see.   I kissed him one last time and left, lightheaded from more than the atmosphere in his meditatiion chamber.  I somehow made it to my room and collapsed on my bed, all my dark thoughts behind me.  

"I want to see this planet, I'm tired of being cooped up on the ship."

Vader merely waved a hand dismissively, not even turning from the computer display before him.

"Well?"

He looked up for a second. "Have fun."

He was unusually closed to me, showing me no emotion at all. Something was obviously wrong, something that had been building for the last few days, but I couldn't breech that wall. "That's it? 'Have fun'?"

"What did you expect, a goodbye kiss?" A shadow of a thought intruded upon my mind--a kiss would be a useless gesture with the mask in the way. It irritated him. Then even that hint of his presence withdrew. "I will not leave with you, I have things to do." He turned away from me and it felt as if I didn't exist anymore.

More and more withdrawn every day...I didn't know what I could do anymore. For my own sanity I had to take a break.

A few breathing exercises later I walked off the ship and put it all behind me to have all the fun Corellia could offer.  It was a wonderful day, full of shopping and sightseeing and sampling the cuisine.  I decided early on that there’s something a bit odd about a big ‘ol pregnant lady flirting, otherwise I’d have done plenty of that just to get back at Vader for his neglect.  I still packed as much pleasure as I could into that day.

When I got back is when all hell broke loose, though not the way I was expecting.

“Ma’am, can I see your papers?”

“Of course,” I replied, handing them over.

He took a long look, checked with his datapad, looked me over, then slowly shook his head.  “I’m sorry, but could you step this way?”

“What’s this about?”

“Just step over here and we’ll have a nice long talk.”

“I don’t want a nice long talk, I want to get on that ship.”

“I’m afraid you can’t, ma’am.  Your ticket and passport have both been revoked.”

“That’s bullshit!  Listen, you get Darth Vader and he’ll tell you“

“Ma’am, it was Lord Vader who signed the orders.  I’m afraid you can not board the ship.”

I stopped in my verbal tracks and looked at the man who was telling me that my lover had just grounded me indefinitely. I could feel the blood drain from my face as my heart dropped to my feet.  I tried to shake my head, tried to say no, tried to tell him that there must be a mistake, but I was frozen to the spot.  The man’s voice buzzed in my ear, saying things about accommodations and getting things straightened out and I think he asked me if I needed medical attention. I’m not sure what I answered, everything went hazy and then the world went gray, then charcoal, then black.

I woke up in a comfortable bed in a sterile room.  Hospital, of course, what else would they do with a pregnant lady if she faints.  The chrono on the wall told me that the ship had taken off hours ago and that I was stuck.

Tam looked down at her hands, clasped on what was left of her lap.  “That’s all there was until a few days ago.  I had plenty of credits, I got a place to stay when I left the hospital, and I waited. About a week ago I was cleared to return to Coruscant, no explanations or excuses. I had heard that you were opening your business soon near Ziggy’s, so I came here.”  She smiled, but tears threatened to escape at the slightest pretext.

“You should have called, something, I would have made it all better sweetie.  What else was I gonna do with all these smugglers before I opened, watch them play sabbac?”

The tears poured suddenly down, released finally.  “Gods, Mary.  I wanted to, but I was ashamed. I turned my back on everyone and everything I had for someone who just tossed me aside for no reason at all.”

I moved beside her, pressing the side of my pregnant belly against hers while I pulled her to my shoulder so she could have a good cry. We were like that until she could collect herself and I knew that some of the poison had been bled from her soul.

“Tam, I have a few things to do. You rest up here while I do them, and I’ll be back in an hour or so.” She nodded wearily and smiled as I walked from the room.

Down the stairs and to the Valentine’s Day party still in swing. I frowned for a second, then decided that it was about time to break things up. I walked over to the band and made a kill sign as I grabbed a microphone.

“Okay, we have one last party planned for the evening. It’s played like Simon Says, but since I’m not Simon the game is Pregnant Lady Says, okay? If not, it will be Boss and Owner Says.”

Smiles and talking from the crowd, the general gist being that Pregnant Lady Says would be fine.

“Pregnant Lady Says: Put your hands in the air. Now put them down. Pregnant Lady didn’t say! Okay, that was just for practice…now here we go.

“Pregnant Lady Says: It’s time to go home so Pregnant Lady can get enough sleep for the busy day ahead! I hope you had fun, but it really is time. Sorry, I know, I’m being a party-pooper, but paying customers only, and only in the rooms now.  Thank you, and don’t make too much noise.”

There were a lot of protests, but it didn’t matter.

Patricia walked over frowning. “We had everything under control, we“ She broke off, really looking at me for the first time since I came back down. “You look terrible!  What’s wrong?”

“I’m afraid I have some things I need to do, something just came up.”

“What? Does this have anything to do with your friend showing up?”

“Oh yah!  I’m gonna go kill me some Sith Lord…nobody hurts my friends!”

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